Working in the hospice field, death becomes a part of everyday life. When I started my hospice job ten months ago I wasn’t sure how it would change me, but yesterday I realized that my perspective had in fact changed significantly.
I arrived at work and the head nurse told me, “Mrs. P. passed away.” Without even thinking about it, I answered, “Oh, good.”
One of the main objectives of hospice care is to allow our patients to die comfortably at home. They only come into the inpatient unit when they have an acute medical issue, such as symptoms that cannot be managed in the home setting.
During the prior month and a half I had seen Mrs. P, a woman in her 80s. come into our inpatient unit three times. I met each of her four sons, who kept a 24-hour vigil at her bedside in rotating pairs. It was devastating for them each time she was hospitalized.
Two of her sons allowed me to give them massages. One was quiet, and the other told me how anxious he was, unable to sleep. As I massaged each of them I could feel the way the stress of their mother’s illness manifested itself physically: tightness through the shoulders, neck, and lower back; shallow breathing; pain.
Her death was the only way that she and her sons could obtain relief from their suffering. So when I heard about it I was glad, because I knew that she was no longer in pain, and that these kind, loving men would be able to grieve, sleep, and eventually start to breathe again.
Eva, working in nursing homes has changed my life, and my perspective on death, tremendously, and in a good way. I remember reading that Elizabeth Kubler Ross said she “no longer believed in death.” Another quote that struck me was from Spirituality & Health magazine: “My relationship with my father has only improved since his death.” People stay with us.
Thank you for sharing so beautifully your important work.
Doctor El
http://mybetternursinghome.blogspot.com